Disney Blog Epiphany
I’ve officially been at Disney for two months now.
And I have to admit to you dear readers, there is a reason it has almost been a month since my last blog post.
For the past month, I’ve been struggling to write a new blog entry. Every time I sit down in front of my computer, I always remember my neglected blog in the corner of my mind. Yet I just couldn’t write anything.
The honeymoon phase of my Disney adventure is over. The pixie dust is starting to settle, and I don’t like it.
It’s hard to write a blog post because every day I go to work I just want to quit on the spot and go home. But I know I won’t. Because I’ve worked too damn hard to quit now. There are just certain aspects of the Disney business that I dislike. I was recently approved to be friends with Russell from Up, and scheduling decided it would be great to schedule me just with Russell all this week, averaging 12.5 hour shifts. I’ve had run-ins with captains that have treated me (because I’m in the College Program) like crap. Hurricane season is in full swing, so you can bet I get soaking wet in torrential downpours every day. And I’ve done everything there is to do in the parks. My stamina for the physical exertion it takes to do my job every day is deteriorating. And I’m extremely homesick.
This experience hasn’t been all fun and games. But a recent phone call to my grandmother reminded me that I have a tendency to think negatively when things go wrong, which in turn coats everything else that’s happening in negative colours. She reminded me to think positively, and to appreciate how far I’ve come with my Disney journey.
I guess it’s just really hard to persevere and complete a job that you realize you don’t want to do for the rest of your life. I thought Disney was the answer to all my career questions. Whenever someone asked me what I plan on doing after university, I would confidently inform them that I planned on working for Disney. But that’s all changed now. I don’t see myself here for the rest of my life. And that leaves my future completely open and undecided, an unforeseeable and unorganized scary black abyss. My life has never been like that. I always had a plan: finish high school, get a summer job, go to university, get another summer job, take this course, finish this class, do this play, graduate with a degree and enter a job at Disney, first the cruise lines, then the parks, work my way up the corporate ladder until I can retire with a nice retirement fund in the bank.
Now I don’t have anything.
But I do have other dreams and goals brewing in the back of my mind. A Professor at my university once suggested to me that I should get my Masters degree in Directing, then with my background in acting, directing, front of house, and my ability to organize and manage events such as I did with the Theatre Course Union, I could walk into any post-secondary institution in Canada and get a job.
Then there’s also the option of auditioning for Stratford, Shaw, Bard on the Beach, etc. My uncle told me if I ever want to, he knows how to connect me with someone who works at Shaw.
Then there’s always bartending school and serving at tourist restaurants for a year until I can pay off some of my loans.
It’s scary to not have a plan. When you’re the type of person who has always had a plan, could always imagine their near and distant future, who could make long term life goals and career choices from an early stage and work towards it. To have something to aim for, work towards, plan, organize.
And now, readers, I just had an epiphany.
Since the start of high school I have been determined to work for Disney. That has been my goal, my plan, I’ve worked towards it and aimed for it. I’ve put so much effort into making it happen. And here I am! This is it! I’m here working for Disney – exactly what I’ve wanted to do all along!
Who could tell me a few years ago I would be making my lifelong goal come true at the young age of 21? If I can accomplish this life goal so early in my life, what’s next? What other possibilities await me? What other goals, what other jobs, what other opportunities can I set my sights on, and achieve? If I’ve already achieved this goal so early in my life, think of all the other opportunities I can accomplish by the time I’m 30, 40, 50 years old!
My future is not some unorganized, unknown black abyss. It’s a wonderland full of exciting, albeit unforeseeable, opportunities! Perhaps letting go of the notion of having a strict, rigid plan for my future will actually open my life up to all kinds of unthinkable experiences. Maybe we are in charge of our own actions and destiny. Yet a part of me feels as if someone, somewhere, has a path for me to follow. I may get distracted and follow a butterfly into the bushes, get nicked by prickly shrubs, and trip on some tree roots, but eventually I will find my way back to the path.
Wow. This post was pretty therapeutic. I kinda wish I had hunkered down to write it sooner.
Alright Disney. 18 days left. Let’s tango.